The overlooked skill for every career transition: Holding liminal space. (plus 5 ways to increase your capacity)
Anything I ever did - small or big - came with sitting in the space of in-between. The decision to move to New Zealand to work in an unpaid NGO position without a (paid) job secured? Pivoting to a high-pressure role in international development without direct experience? Starting a new senior role in London with no support network? Pivoting careers mid-life from operational roles to coaching?
All of these were spaces where I didn’t know what or how to do something.
The liminal space.
In the liminal space, everything and nothing is possible at the same time. A transformational shift can happen if we allow it.
Understanding liminal spaces in your career journey
Liminal spaces are everywhere. A hallway corridor is a liminal space. As is an airport. As is a career transition.
The Latin word “limen” means threshold. It’s the physical, emotional and metaphorical space of in-between. A transition of where you’ve been and where you’re going.
If you pay attention, you’ll see how people behave in liminal spaces. A colleague might rush from meeting to meeting to avoid spending too much time in the corridor. Another colleague takes their time and uses the space to think and regroup before entering the next room.
All my coaching clients are in liminal spaces in their careers.
My client, W., is building her freelance business and is about to leave her full-time job with a UN agency to pursue it full-time.
My client, L., is returning to Europe after 15 years in the US development sector, and is re-looking to establish herself in a new job market, while also rebuilding a sense of home, identity, and purpose in a familiar yet changed culture.
My client, N., has just started a new senior role within an impact-driven organisation and is looking to establish her reputation within the company.
Where in your life have you recently encountered a liminal space? Or expecting one?
The discomfort of liminal spaces: High uncertainty.
People who had to guess whether they would receive an electric shock were more stressed than those who knew they would receive one.
Read that again.
A 2016 study showed that people who had a 50% chance of receiving a (light) electric shock were more stressed than those who knew they would be shocked 100%. (2016 study by University of London)
Uncertainty causes more stress than inevitable pain.
Your brain doesn’t like uncertainty. It wants to move through liminal spaces as quickly as possible.
To reduce the friction, we all rush things. We rush through airports. We also rush our decisions for our future - our decision of what to do after high school, our next physical relocation, and our next job/role.
Your brain wants to reduce the friction of sitting in that space of not knowing. It craves stability and predictability. And the liminal space is anything but stable and predictable.
Recognize your coping mechanisms for reducing uncertainty
Let’s unpack this with two of my clients.
My freelance client W's was preparing to transition from a full-time job to a freelance career. She had a timeline, her financial situation sorted, a plan for how to get there, and had made time in her schedule. She did everything "right".
But when that discomfort of her transition overwhelmed her, she would go into overdrive mode. She'd add more tasks to her plan and to-do list, and work longer hours to fit them all in. She felt stressed out by all the things she had to do, and yet she thought she hadn't done enough. She'd fill her diary to the brim with tasks as a way to drown out the feeling of discomfort that arises when she stands still.
W's coping mechanism was workaholic mode.
My leadership client, N., started in a new senior role at a social impact consultancy. It was a significant role for her. A role where she had the freedom to set the strategy and shape the direction of the organisation. It was a new experience in a larger organisation, and with bigger responsibilities than she had held before.
She, too, was in a liminal space: all the new senior functions caused friction, as she wasn't entirely sure how to approach them. Instead of delegating tasks and taking time to think through the upcoming strategy meeting, N. focused on tasks she knew well. She edited the proposal. She analysed the data.
N's coping mechanism was micro-managing tasks and people.
But neither W. nor N. fell back on their coping mechanism for long. Because they were in coaching with me and had the space and learned tools to hold the tension and discomfort of that liminal space, and took different actions as a result.
Liminal spaces are your jump-off point to your most significant and, perhaps, most fulfilling next chapter of life.
How are you handling liminal spaces? Are you clinging to the first solution rigidly (the obvious job, the first pathway), going into workaholic mode, or numbing the discomfort another way?
Whatever the coping mechanism, we often overlook the signs our brain sends us (through emotions) that require attention and resolution.
The discomfort shows you that there’s something to stretch into.
In a liminal space, it can feel like everything is possible. But just as easily… it can feel like nothing is.
That’s the paradox.
One moment, you're excited by all the possibilities. Next, you're overwhelmed by them - unsure which path to trust, or whether any of them are right.
If you're rethinking your next career step, you might have a few ideas, but no clear direction (yet). You swing between the excitement of the future possibilities and the fear of making the wrong move.
If you're in a new leadership role, you may sense the kind of leader you aspire to be - bolder, braver, more assertive. But you don't have evidence yet. You swing between the possibility of growing into that new person and the thoughts that you will look like a fool and colleagues won't take you seriously.
In the liminal space, anything can grow, but only if you’re able to stay still to notice what wants to emerge, have tools to integrate the tension and take imperfect action in the directions of the possibility, without knowing it will be successful or lead anywhere.
The uncertainty in the liminal space is your learning. It’s the space where possibility and opportunity can be the seed for something new: your next move - physical or literal.
"Uncertainty is the fertile ground of pure creativity and freedom. The unknown is the field of all possibilities, ever fresh, ever new, always open to the creation of new manifestations. Without uncertainty and the unknown, life is just the stale repetition of outworn memories."
(Deepak Chopra, The seven laws of spiritual success)
5 ways to increase your tolerance for career transition uncertainty
You can train your tolerance for sitting in the liminal space. Having tools to tolerate the uncertainty and tension. To understand what the specific signals are that show up for you, how and when. To reassure your brain that there’s nothing unstable or insecure about where you’re right now. To focus your attention more on the possibility than the failures.
There are many different entry points to start changing your relationship with the uncertainty of liminal spaces. All five ways below are good starting points. Pick the one that resonates with you the most right now and give it a go.
1. Recognize your coping mechanisms and practice self-compassion.
Worry is of the mind. The racing thoughts, negative “what ifs”, overly vigilant negative thinking - all of these tend to be in your head. Worry is a mental attempt to reduce the unknown and feel more certain by thinking through potential outcomes.
Anxiety is in the body and comes with physical symptoms. A racing heart, sweaty palms, a surge of discomfort, shortness of breath. The physical sensations you experience are your body’s way of signalling you to pay attention to what is going on.
What are the signs that you see when you’re in the liminal space?
The first step is acknowledging your signs. The second step is to accept them. Every human on earth has a brain that craves stability and predictability. If you are hard on yourself and think you’re uniquely flawed, you could benefit from practising self-compassion. You might try Dr. Neff’s 5 minute self-compassion practice on Insighttimer.
Practicing self-compassion means you don’t avoid painful emotions, but you’re also not overidentifying with or exaggerating your feelings.
2. Enhance your ability to tolerate discomfort.
How you think and respond in any situation is intrinsically linked to your physical body. More specifically: your neurochemicals. Neurochemicals directly shape your attitudes, behaviours, and emotional intelligence. They impact everything from how motivated you feel to how resilient you are to keep going.
To increase your capacity to sit in the liminal space, begin working with your body.
Some ways you can work with your body:
If you feel anxiety or stress in your body, imagine punching an imaginary punch bag in front of you. This helps dispel cortisol, the stress hormone, from your body.
If you feel low in energy, dance! This shakes up the receptors of negative emotions in our spine.
If you want to be agile and improve your capacity for change, use the Serotonin Twist: Hold onto the back of your chair and twist your torso to look behind you. Hold for a few seconds, taking deep breaths. Repeat on the other side.
There are many more tools like this. I utilise my physical intelligence training to demonstrate to my clients strength, flexibility, resilience and endurance movements to help them grow their capacity.
3. See liminal space(s) as spaces for growth.
The liminal space is the space where you learn new things about yourself and the world. If it weren’t for liminal spaces, we wouldn’t grow. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. That’s a good thing!
Keep asking yourself these questions:
What can I learn here?
What wants to show up in my experience right now?
(We know that our brain loves questions. If you ask questions, your brain goes out of its way to find the answers. They might not come immediately, but they will come. )
4. Use rituals to navigate liminal career spaces.
British anthropologist Victor Turner is known for his work on rites of passage and liminality. In his work with indigenous tribes, he demonstrated that rituals help individuals reframe their identity, integrate new roles, and feel supported during uncertain phases.
Not many of us are part of tribes or communities that hold these transitional spaces for us. But you can still mark it with rituals. Here are some ideas:
Mark the ending: Write a letter or mark a ritual to your former job, title, identity, or partner. You might burn your business cards as a symbolic gesture. Or host a farewell event with friends/family/peers.
Hold the liminal space: Use your body to integrate discomfort (see also point 2). Change locations/surroundings to refresh. Build a daily/weekly practice of journaling or reflection.
Welcome the new (even if you don’t know what yet): Find ways to engage your curiosity in a new way. Get out of your routine; give your mind something new to engage with. Celebrate the small steps you’re taking or the small progress you’re seeing. Daydream about what’s possible.
5. Seek support during the transition.
I have support around me that helps me hold the liminal space as I build my business, grow my professional identity, and navigate the uncertainty present in the world.
In all the work I read on liminal spaces, people are being held - by other people. Whether a group, a therapist or a coach. Find that person who is a step ahead of you. Get the support you need to sit in the liminal zone for that tiny bit longer.
It’s not a sign of weakness. We cannot do it all alone.
What I learned on my journey: As I improved (and still improve) at physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually holding the liminal space, my capacity increased.
Everything I’ve ever done - small or big - has come from learning to sit with the discomfort of the liminal space.
If I hadn’t explored my relationship with work and money six years ago, I wouldn’t have started this business.
If I hadn’t sat with the fear of being seen, I wouldn’t have posted my first photo on LinkedIn.
Every shift began in that discomfort of the space in between. In that space where I permitted myself to stay long enough to hear what was next.
The same is true for you.
If you want to live, lead and work with greater impact, have more confidence, bring your full potential to the table (and this life), learn to sit in the space in-between.
I’m here if you want support. Book a free call with me here. We’ll discuss your biggest challenge, what overcoming it might look like, and whether my coaching is a good fit, all without any strings attached.
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